Behold the 'Turtlegasm': Or, How I Am Put to Shame By a Turtle's Peen

"God damn, what is that son of a bitch?"

"That's his pee pee."

And what a pee pee it is!!! Did you ever think you would watch a turtle blast out a bucket load of DNA so impressively that you need to wipe down your computer screen?

Answer: YES (This turtle is... a hero)