Bacon Covered Strippers Wrestling in Lard at the Bacon Cup 2012

Get some willing strippers, lather them up in slippery lard and give them as much delicious bacon as money can buy.

Ready... Set... FIGHT.

"On Saturday,[..], master chefs, cooks and wizards will submit their best bacon-induced creations for the judging audience (as well as a celebrity panel), who will consume, rate and review the creations. Some will enter, some will attend, many will lose and everyone will win."

This bacon stripper battle happened at the Bacon Cup 2012 in Portland, OR at the IHRx and if you read on you can see more photos and a video of the ladies in hot bacon action.

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Chew on This: A Taxidermied Zombie Head Gumball Machine

Now this is one gruesome gumball machine! This gnarly looking zombie will eat your brains while you get to chew on his balls.

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Clam Licking Salt Off a Table Exactly How I Would Lick Your Face

Clams are DELICIOUS. So is SALT. So are FACES.

I can't help but think of the scene in Terminator 2 when a guard at a mental institute licks Sarah Connor's face while she is restrained to a bed. 'Cept this is SALT and a clam, but if you think about it... Sarah was pretty sweaty (all the time), so I imagine it tasted exactly the same. Yum yum.

Rainbow Unicorn Fetus Jello Mold Tattoo is Weird and Magical

Unicorns have to start off as a fetus just like the rest of us magical creatures gestating in happy jello molds. This tattoo was created by Noelle LaMonica of Divine Machine Tattoo in Buffalo NY.

[ source ] via [ fyeahtattoos ]

People Cry Super Mario Bros Music Video Brings Tears of WTF

I LOVE WATCHING PEOPLE CRY

and

I LOVE THE SUPER MARIO BRO THEME MUSIC

Created by sugarzaza

Fully Functioning Custom Steampunk "Love Machine"

Hey ladies, sip some wine, light your candles and get ready for some steamy action.

In order to get this metal pleasure-beast purring, you simply add fire and make use of the onboard stirling engine that will shake and choo-choo you into the 1800s.

"Add alcohol, light the wick, and flip the fly wheel to harness the vibration to pleasure yourself into the next century. Hand made by me using stainless steel, brass, aluminum, plastics and more."

Read on to see more, break out your purse, cause this male-replacement system will set you back a cool $800 bone rattling bucks.

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Ever Seen a Lawn Blister? Must Pop Immediately!

Every once in a while water builds up right beneath the top level of lawn and turns into this sort of "blister" that you, almost uncontrollably, need to pop. This one you see above was spotted behind some store in Portland, Oregon and was stepped on, jumped on and taunted until it finally burst. That must've felt so good.

Via [ iheartchaos ]

OK, I Admit it... Watching Cats Trying to Eat After Anesthesia is Kinda "Funny"

Every once in a while, cats need to undergo surgery such as being spade / neutered, bionic tagging implant installations or just for fun and learning. Who knows, I am only a hobbyist veterinarian. Watch these two cats get weird and look like a couple of drunkards going for a bowl of delicious cat food.

Win? Probably not. Weird and oddly funny. Yep.

PRO TIP: To achieve a similar effect without expensive drugs, simply put your cat on an office chair and spin the hell out of it. Quickly stop the chair and offer your cat a fresh piece of salmon and/or squirrel.

Triceratopless Dinosaur Riding Cosplay is Full of Weird and Sexy Win

Grab a spear, remove all your clothes and jump onto the closest Triceratops you can find.

Spotted at [ lazorz ]

Goatse Coffee Mug: Your Morning Coffee Just Got Stretched Open

How do you like your coffee? Hot and sweet? Extra cream? Black? Either way, these goatse mugs are guaranteed to get you up and moving with your morning brew of choice. Each mug is hand-crafted by Patton Pottery and you can snag one [ here ] for 40 gaping bucks.

[ source ] via [ ihstwoti ]

Learn How to Feed Your Octopus, Have Sex, Do Coke, Make an Omelette

Learning sure is educational. But what about the simple things in life? How are they DONE? These videos show you exactly how to do everyday tasks in mere seconds in a way that we all can understand. With SMASHING and DESTRUCTION!!!

Read on to get your rage-learn on.

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The "Squildo" for Your Deep Kraken Alone-time Adventures

Hey ladies, heads up!!! Care to go hunting for a giant squid in your bathtub?! Sure you do and as luck would have it you can use your har-poooooon as a weapon! Excite! 

What do you think... Great idea or BEST idea? Either way... tonight, calamari for dinner.

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